Marketing and more: Lockdown in my kitchen

The historic California statewide lockdown has many people spending more time at home, creatively finding ways to be entertained as Americans work together to “flatten the curve.” I have cut back on my television viewing since I become too emotional watching Charmin toilet paper commercials.

Post lockdown, will there be an increase in divorces with so many couples forced to spend time together only to realize that don’t really like each other? Or will it flip the other way with an increase in births nine months from now?

Some people are binge watching, connecting online, viewing movies, reading books, filming hilarious YouTube videos or doing tasks that have long been ignored due to lack of time. I decided to try cooking, something I am miserable at for many reasons.

  • My spice rack consists of salt and pepper.
  • Husband thinks Rolaids is an after-dinner mint.
  • My pots have seen more military action than an army platoon.
  • Everyone has a favorite chef. Someone who had a direct impact on their cooking prowess. For me, there are two men who have made me the cook I am today:

  • Percy Spencer – credited with having invented the microwave. The American engineer invented the modern microwave over after World War II from radar technology developed during the war. The first “Radarange” was sold in 1946.
  • George Forman – became my best friend in 1994 with the introduction of the Forman Grill. More than 100 million have been sold worldwide.
  • Although my oven has been broken for decades, the lockdown made me dust off my recipes. Here are a few favorite meals.

    Photo by Robin Itzler. Used with permission.

    Spaghetti and Meatballs

    1. Boil water
    2. Add pasta
    3. When water has evaporated and pasta is sticking to bottom of pot, remove from fire
    4. Empty pasta into colander; use sharp knife to scrape pasta out of pot
    5. Open package of pre-cooked meatballs; place several onto pasta
    6. Open can of generic brand tomato sauce; pour evenly onto pasta
    7. Call husband to dining room to eat dinner

    Chicken and Dumplings (minus the dumplings)

    1. Buy chicken
    2. Fill large pot with water
    3. Boil chicken until cooked or smoke alarm goes off
    4. Call husband to dining room to eat dinner

    Salmon and Rice

    1. Stop in fast food restaurant and take salt and pepper packets
    2. Put salmon on tray, season with salt and pepper
    3. Bake salmon in toaster oven for 15 minutes or however long it takes to check email messages
    4. Fill pot with water; bring to boil
    5. Add rice boil-in-a-bag; boil ten minutes or until email messages are answered
    6. Call husband to dining room to eat dinner

    Americana: Hot Dogs

    1. Go to Costco; buy $1.50 hot dog and drink special – remember to bring containers for onions, mustard and relish
    2. Call husband to dining room to eat dinner

    During the lockdown

    When out shopping, I am keeping at least six feet distance with strangers since a cough or sneeze sprays small droplets from the person’s nose or mouth which may contain the virus. If too close to the person who has coughed or sneezed, I can breathe in the droplets which might include the virus if the person coughing or sneezing has the disease.

    There’s lots of health and economic anxiety, but it helps to keep your sense of humor. You’ve probably seen countless photos related to the toilet paper shortage along with many imaginative YouTube videos. Larry and I were walking our pooch Golda and I saw he was several feet behind me.

    “Larry, why aren’t you walking with me?”

    “We were told to stay six feet away from other people.”

    “But I’m your wife … we’re married!”

    “Okay, I’ll make that ten feet.”

    Post lockdown

    When we finally “flatten the curve” and life returns to normal, Americans will start asking hard questions as to why the United States ever became so dependent on Communist China to manufacture its technology, healthcare accessories, clothing and pharmaceuticals. Globalists from both parties are responsible for this situation. Madison Gesiotto opened her article “Coronavirus Shows Donald Trump Was Right All This Time About China” with –

    Donald Trump has been insisting for years that our country has been too economically dependent on China, so it is sad that it took a global public health crisis to prove he was right all this time.

    Questions about America’s dependency on authoritarian China will be one of the key issues of the 2020 presidential election. In a post virus world, there will be many questions for and about former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter’s snuggling relationship with Communist China. As Peter Schweizer wrote in “The Troubling Reason Why Biden Is So Soft on China” –

    In 2013, then-Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden flew aboard Air Force Two to China. Less than two weeks later, Hunter Biden’s firm inked a $1 billion private equity deal with a subsidiary of the Chinese government’s Bank of China. The deal was later expanded to $1.5 billion. In short, the Chinese government funded a business that it co-owned along with the son of a sitting vice president.

    If it sounds shocking that a vice president would shape US-China policy as his son — who has scant experience in private equity — clinched a coveted billion-dollar deal with an arm of the Chinese government, that’s because it is.

    For now, as we remain in lockdown to “flatten the curve,” many Americans are comforted watching President Trump’s leadership during the daily news briefings. It’s also gratifying hearing some Democrats praise how the president is managing the unprecedented crisis.

    California Gov. Gavin Newsom: “We need more swabs… The president assured me, not only assured me, he was aware of where those swabs are being procured before I even offered my own insight. Not only is he on top of it, but they’re securing and beginning the process of distributing those swabs.”

    New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo: Cuomo compliments President Trump’s response to New York’s coronavirus crisis, saying the president is “fully engaged on trying to help New York” and “very creative and energetic.”

    CNN’s Dana Bash: Following President Trump’s briefing remarks on March 19 as the “kind of leader we need” at this time.

    America will get through this crisis just as we have gotten through other historic challenges! You can read Madison Gesiotto’s article here and Peter Schweizer’s article here.

    Stay healthy!


    1. Great article. Love the recipes!!

    2. What a great article, filled with truth and so much humor. Thank you for giving me outburst of laughter today!!

    3. Thanks for describing the new reality of our life for the next several weeks. We feel more normal now.

    4. As always, I have enjoyed reading and re-reading your column.
      I love your sense of humor, and at a time like this, it is even more appreciated. Thank you. You sound like my kind of cook, even though I know you are just “funning.”

      Take care, stay well and please do keep on amusing us.

    5. Thank you for the wonderful laugh!

    6. This gave us a laugh in a day I was starting to really go stir-crazy!!

    7. I love your recipes ha ha Ha

    8. Robin, I can’t stop laughing! I love every word of it! So so funny. I want to pass it on.

    9. Robin, this is absolutely delightful! Thank you for giving me quite a laugh today. Also, thanks for sharing your wonderful recipes. I will try the hot dog recipe tonight.

    10. Robin, you will never know the lives that you touch with your sense of humor! Thanks for being my friend and enlightening my day!

    11. This is your best ever, Robin, even my husband laughed.

    12. This is a gem of an article!! Thanks for the much needed laugh today.

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